To be young and in love

Caits waits all summer for the few weekends that she gets to spend with Hayden. Hayden is a family friend and they have been spending summer time together since they were babies.

She loves him so much that it is scary to me....she draws him pictures throughout the year, saves silly bands that say "I love you" for him, patiently waits for his arrival and then...I lose her. Her world revolves around him...it is as close to puppy love as I have ever seen. I tease Hayden's Mom and Dad, Danielle and Troy, that she is going to be their future daughter in law. She tells me all the time that they will marry when they are six...as she feels she will be ready by then. To watch a little girl fall so hard for a little boy has to be one of the most heart warming things I have experienced with my children :-)

I was able to take them to my favorite summer place where we bought donuts, picked out marbles and visited all of the farm animals. Momma pig will be delivering soon as we have watched her grow all summer. Cait says she is "Huge", I try to tell her that no pregnant women ever wants to hear those words....Mom, she is not a women...she is a pig, she politely corrects me :-) Apples are ready and we can't wait for fall which brings cider, donuts, apple fritters and caramel apples...four of the major food groups!

No more babies, no more toddlers...

It was a Wednesday, we were in Tennessee...the day I found out that we would be blessed with a second child. Overwhelmed with all the feelings that comes when you know that you are bringing life to this world and the uncertainty of how it will change you. That evening when we went to dinner there were pictures of local athletes hanging on the wall and there was a beautiful girl with warm brown skin and long brown hair...her name was Cait. How weird it was that day because for some reason I knew from that moment that she would arrive in my life 9 months later and in some way Cait would be part of her name.

My children both made me hate being pregnant many days of being sick, never had that glow, and I lived on Rice Krispies. We were approaching the end of my pregnancy and it was a Wednesday in March, heading to the doctor appointment. I looked at the Dr. and told her that I needed to have this baby tonight or tomorrow at the latest. Why??? because Sunday was Easter and Cam was three. I so wanted to spend Easter with him, watch him hunt for the eggs that the Easter Bunny left him...I didn't want to miss that moment and even though i couldn't wait for Cait to be here, Cam got all of me and it would be the last time that he was my priority, my #1, my everything, my favorite...soon he would share that with Cait. That Wednesday evening I went into labor so excited to meet her and I would be home for Easter to be with Cam. During the birth i was surrounded by Tony, my mom, Tony's mom, my best friend Kristen, and Aunt Jeanne....Uncle Brian and my dad patiently outside. She was beautiful when I held her in my arms for the first time, she looked like Cam :-) and from that moment she would share all of my love with Cam.

So why do you ask...why all the past, why tell a story that has already been told? She started kindergarten today. No longer is she a baby or a toddler. She closed my chapter today on that part of the Bacarella story. Today, I longed for car seats, strollers, bottles and the feeling of her heart beat against mine as I would hold her for hours. I live a policy of no regrets in my life...once my mind starts taking me to the land of "I wish", I shut it down completely...pull myself together and take ownership of the present. Today my baby, my toddler, became my beautiful little girl. As I kissed her cheek and told her how proud I was of her...it reminded me of when I kissed her for the first time. The 5 years flew by but they were amazing, filled with laughs, some tears and lots of memories.

I won't lie thoughts of a third raced through my mind...